June 27, 2008

my life has now been reduced to tracking objects, handing off water, catching puppets, and staying behind a constantly slamming door for a few hours every night.

this summer was supposed to be easy, but now the monotony of professional theatre is eroding my spirit.

the difficulty also lies in the fact that i reside in a major transition state of limbo,

I’m not laying the foundations of a future career here, the more i dip my toe into professional, commercial theater, the more I know that this path is not mine.

my utter existence right now, in other’s eyes, depends upon my ability to appropriately give and recieve props, playthings, and proceed as unnoticed as possible. is this art? 

and then I think, I got into four grad schools, full rides and more from three of them, and not for stage management. – i got in for my writing, the ideas I wanted to pursue, my thoughts and practice of directing, and my comprehensive experience in theatre arts –  not for mixing gatorade.

I do read quite a bit during the day, right now I’m working on a great anthology of theatre theory. It’s amazing how we believe that some ideas, like tragicomedy, were only recent developments. But it’s all been done before. you just have to look for it.

of course there are highlights to work environment –  they both involve electronic objects –  battery operated dinosaur and light sabers.

 

please rain.

i’m ready for the next three years.