I wish I could talk about what I wanted. 

 

I looked at degree programs at other schools today. I can’t help but wonder “what if?” If  i had chosen a program with a bigger class.  This is simply unfair, and I can’t go on pretending things are fine.

This semester has been both enjoyable and completely frustrating. 

 

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I have to tell someone.

something magical

During one of the performances of complete works this week, there was a group of middle school kids sitting on the front row of the audience. Usually the guys are great with dealing with the audience, because they don’t really talk at them.

This was not the case.

The kids went beyond responding to the guys, at some moments it seemed like they were in their own play, competing with the show on stage. Everything logical in me said that these kids are being delinquents, invading art, just being rowdy.  

but instead, i began to wonder, is this a new form of participation in theatre? commenting on what’s happening on stage, out loud, in real time. Not that I think these kids were hitting any groundbreaking ideas on theatre, but the live experience is one of the unique things about theatre. Live interaction, not gazing into a fishbowl of life. We already have that with tv, and now streaming video online. 

Is theatre considered boring because the patrons are forced to sit there for hours? being quiet? Should we give them an active role in the play? then you can go into the whole arguement of whether the playwright is the master of a play or not…. but it seems that we’re not connecting to something in our world. Otherwise, theatre would be much more a necessity than a novelty. but what are we not tapping into?

i mean, i can’t create an ipod or iphone experience for you. We have to use real bodies, in real time, in a real space. 

Something that may affect our change to the theatre, may have to do with our approach to religion. With attendance going down, the one place where people volunteer to gather together and listen and think (or there is the idea that you are supposed to come there to do those things) is lessening, or becoming fragmented even more with so many denominations and even churches themselves are being split in two. Fewer people are gathering together in large groups. Who goes to lectures anymore, town hall meetings? While our technology is becoming far more vast, it is making us all islands on our own. Think of the family unit itself, how many times do you eat with your family as a group, probably not as much as you did ten years ago.

but having those kids there, actually interacting, challenging the actors, whether it was antagonistic or not, gave me some glimmer of hope that the next generation of theatre will not be boring, but engaging, confrontational, and fruitful….

because sometime soon, i think people are going to become tired of this fast paced life, information overload, everything at the touch of your fingertips. Or at least I hope that they will wonder about something else, and step away from their computer, tv, guitar hero…. the list goes on. 

Are these things really edifying, or just filler? Theatre can fall into that trap too, by trying to appease their need of stimulation and zoning out. But I hope we are not on that track.

uta hagen-daas

I question such intense “introverted” training in acting. Maybe I’m a bit hostile to the way she structures her manifestoes. For example: she believes that when something is not “working” on stage, which is another can of worms entirely, because who is the judge of whether something works or not? (Postmodern. I know.) But she blames a “failure” of a certain act on behalf of the actor. Now, if I were an actor, I would not like my work to be called a “failure” or that Uta Hagen knows exactly what my problem is. It seems that she makes assumptions too quickly, and assumes that all actors operate the same way, her way. 

Yes, I know she was a phenomenal actress and teacher, I can’t discount that. But this intense introverted approach will only really help those who need training in introversion, meaning extraverts. And not all people are. 

Something that I have read in nearly all of the books on acting, which I have read over the past few weeks have emphasized the fact that “the actor’s body is their instrument, and should be trained in technique just as any pianist or violinist”. However, most of these books are focused on such theoretical jargon, that you can barely get an outline of their own method. 

A budding pianist would never crack open a book of verbal theory on piano and expect to get a firm grasp on piano technique. The same with these books, they make a nice summary of the troubles of being an actor and different ways of feeling into a role, but where is the discipline? How does this translate for an actor?

From my own experience, as a pianist, playing “three blind mice” as a five year old was no artistic achievement, but being ingrained with those tones, rhythms, muscle memory for 12 years certainly helped when I tackled chopin and debussy in high school. 

So what should the actor learn? Is it just physical training –  voice, movement – or emotional training –  being able to free up emotions easily and appropriately? That’s the main gist I get from these writers and from conservatory training. But I think they are missing something, and that is their worldview. Artists cannot be islands, in their own world of creativity. They must know what they think about the world, from training of the mind – whether it be history, philosophy, or psychology –  because art comes from necessity in the world. We can keep repeating plays, again and again, but without some connection to right now, are we simply a living museum? I digress.

Back to hagen -daas… she also believes that if you are playing the circumstances and actions of the character so realistically and you are so enveloped with the character, then the audience will be moved. There are so many things that I find odd in this statement. First, I don’t think I have ever been moved by watching a “realistic character”, I’m moved by either the story, or the relationship between characters, not “Cindy Lou Who” herself. That places a great amount of pressure  on an actor. I don’t think this statement of Hagen’s works like a Harry Potter spell. Also, the audience is not some force that reacts to the actors with a blank slate, there are audience members who walked in right after an arguement, or wanted different seats, there are so many factors at play. The actor can really only present his role, for the purpose of the play, not put all that pressure on himself or question his “success” as an actor.

 

p. s. – yesterday I was asked if I knew that Jesus was a Jew.

Do they really think southerners are that ignorant?  Obviously this specific individual knows  nothing about me.

Theatre of The Oppressed: P1

Have you ever had a thought that just turned your concept of something completely upside down. I do lean towards a Brechtian purpose, when it comes to theatre, but this ideology shakes the very foundation that theatre is based on. He starts at the beginning, with Aristotle’s thoughts on theatre, and clobbers their entire rationale for implementing the medium of theatre in their society.

Of course it was there to maintain the ideals of the age, keeping the peace by letting them get their negative emotions out in the house of the theatre.  but i never thought that this could be oppressive.

Maybe it’s because i have yet to experience true oppression. I mean the closest thing I have ever felt to that is being a girl at a Church of Christ High School, but that is nothing compared to the Latin American countries who live every day in wastelands of filth, danger, and uncertainty. 

He invites the audience to take part, have their say in what happens on stage, it is ” a rehearsal for revolution and change”. Up until two days ago, i never even considered asking for other options with a script, and of course, TOTO scripts are largely written by the participants themselves. But our western ideas creates such a hierarchy, stratified to allow individual ownership in every aspect of theatre. As collaborative as we claim to be, we still want our personal pat on the back. that’s beside the point, this book has been so enlightening, because it is one of the rare point of view that is out of mainstream western thought, therefore, it sees us in a completely different lens. 

They see our way of life in comparison to theirs, and it is a very different reality.

even though i love Brecht, it is still a “safe” theatre. when i read one of his plays, my mind is startled with his Marxist ideas, comments on the social condition, but i never go out and do anything about it. Do you? TOTO takes the theatre’s purpose to teach and transform to something nearly tangible. I think the next step for them would be actually signing laws as a theatre troupe (and then that would turn the produciton into a real ritual). It’s almost too close to reality, is it art? It is expression, but it’s something different than European -Rococo- put me to sleep – Debussy feelings that come from a great portrait of kittens. 

I know I will use his games in rehearsals, I’m a big fan of games to allow the opening of creativity and play with a cast. I’ll finish the book tomorrow… or later today…. 21 days…

-the sleepy dashibbs

 

P.S. – Coke Zero…. oh excuse me, “CocaCola” Zero… very interesting, but i will stay with my diet coke, it has been good to me.

the countdown begins

look at the date! in 22 days, very early in the morning, i’m going to start a new journey!

and i’m not scared, or anxious, just ready.

 

ok, a tiny bit of fear is running through my veins 

(bada bing –  a line from complete works)

one of my books for the summer course is called theatre/ theory  - contrasted with the book i’m reading now, theatre/theory/theatre…. hmm, i wonder which was published first.

but in that book, we’re studing post colonialism and semiotics….

what do those words mean?

uh oh.

i guess i’m going to find out…

 

the theatre artist slowly unraveling the knots 

dear bunny

preface:

a brown rabbit has been grazing the clover adjacent to Asbury Hall. Day after day, said rabbit can be found in the same location, masticating in an average distance  of five feet from the original spot. 

Dear Bunny:

Why must you choose to sit in the same spot day after day? I pass you on the way to Starbucks, the place where I attempt to deviate from my boredom, and I pass you again on the way into the dorm. 

Today i was tempted to run at you screaming, to make you cross the street, to another patch of grass. Not that I am offended by your ceaseless chomping and wriggling of your nose, but

there are so many patches of grass out there!!!!! pick another one!!!!!

ah, bunny. I am also distressed by your presence because you are a perfect metaphor of my current state.

It’s like Godot, only worse.

Well, you can keep your patch, i like variety! Hence, I will journey to the city of ridiculous visual  overstimulation and recharge.

may the bard be with you.

 

 

the bounded theatre artist.

my life has now been reduced to tracking objects, handing off water, catching puppets, and staying behind a constantly slamming door for a few hours every night.

this summer was supposed to be easy, but now the monotony of professional theatre is eroding my spirit.

the difficulty also lies in the fact that i reside in a major transition state of limbo,

I’m not laying the foundations of a future career here, the more i dip my toe into professional, commercial theater, the more I know that this path is not mine.

my utter existence right now, in other’s eyes, depends upon my ability to appropriately give and recieve props, playthings, and proceed as unnoticed as possible. is this art? 

and then I think, I got into four grad schools, full rides and more from three of them, and not for stage management. – i got in for my writing, the ideas I wanted to pursue, my thoughts and practice of directing, and my comprehensive experience in theatre arts –  not for mixing gatorade.

I do read quite a bit during the day, right now I’m working on a great anthology of theatre theory. It’s amazing how we believe that some ideas, like tragicomedy, were only recent developments. But it’s all been done before. you just have to look for it.

of course there are highlights to work environment –  they both involve electronic objects –  battery operated dinosaur and light sabers.

 

please rain.

i’m ready for the next three years.

Theta Alpha Phi address

It took a great amount of time to tack down what I wanted to say to all of you tonight. This problem emerged up partially from the fact that it is very difficult to describe this distinct year of OBU theatre. You could phrase  it as  a great amount of change, frustration, waiting,  a great tempest, a fairy tale gone completely wrong, or utter and complete chaos. Our season has twisted and pulled  us in many different directions. We opened with a night of scenes to connect the freshman to their older counterparts over the next few years. We’ve tackled the Bard, under the direction of a true  Shakespearean actor, and miraculously survived his tempest. The Directing class explored  a great range of work with their one acts, showcasing the vast scope of ideas and genres that theatre can encompass. Godot challeneged our previous conceptions of theatre, by rejecting the ideas of a “good play” with no complex plot or emotional journey for the characters. Finally, Once Upon a Mattress reminded us that theatre is nothing, if we don’t simply enjoy sharing these stories written for us. No season is perfect, nor should it ever aim to be so. We should only aim to grasp our complex craft better day by day.

            Through the past four years, people have come and  gone, and this year will be no different. But one thing that holds us together is the sense of family within our department. Call it what you will, comrades, partners in crime, company – theatre is all about the cohesion of the ensemble, not just the actors, but the entire company. We take the time tonight to remember that even though we are all unique, opinionated, outspoken, spontaneous, independent, we are nothing if we do not take the time to nurture relationships within our artistic family.

            As this year draws to a close, I urge you to look outside of yourselves, see the bigger picture. Yes, you will be going out into the claws of professional theatre with your claws sharpened, but this art is too fragile for the idea of “every man for himself”. Today’s competition may be your next fellow actor. Even though we are fighting for the same roles, the same jobs, we still have a common goal, or hopefully we do. We are the artists who tell humanity’s stories, their hopes, dreams, failings, and needs. Our cause is the human cause – To create awareness of our current state and people. To reach out and dare people to care about others, to force change within our brief two hours traffic on the stage.

            This business is an honor. who can say that they get up every day to walk in another’s shoes,  to speak shakespeare’s words, to make a child laugh, to show another point of view that would otherwise go unnoticed. Who gets to do that for their life? That’s why we are willing to work long hours, go to classes in the day, rehearse long into the night, because we are curious, because we need to.

            As Anne Bogart states, the greater reason for participating in this craft, in this art, to remember and discover, over and over again. That is why even though technology and culture changes rapidly, the practice of theatre has held on and will hold on. For we will never stop learning, or forming new schemas for understanding life on earth. That’s not to be taken as an idea of  defeat, but exciting, because everything we learn today is just the foundation for tomorrow. Tonight, we recognize all that we have explored together, as an ensemble of artists and anxiously await what we will discover next. 

 

Last things

As I’m packing up all of my things from the past four years, both literally and metaphorically, I’m having a hard time letting things go. Not that I’m having an emotional crisis every night, or that I think my “Glory days” are over, I’m just

at a point of utter disbelief.

I’ve accomplished all that I could, done everything that a senior in theatre could do, achieved so much, but I just don’t believe that it’s over in a week. I just don’t. This is simply passive denial. 

I’m working on a senior speech for our annual theta alpha phi banquet. I’ll post it when it’s complete. 

I am starting a new journey. I should start accepting this.

Myers – Briggs typology- part one

One of the ideas that makes my approach to theatre unique is that I am greatly concerned with the work of the individual actor. How do they come up with ideas about their character? How can get get their body engaged with what they are saying? How can they use their emotions in a safe manner that can be both repeated every night, and yet seem fresh as if it is the forst time they have felt those emotions. 

This is one of the dangers of theatre. Even though it is considered an art, it is dynamically different than its counterparts in the discipline. For example,  a studio artist creates their work, probably in private, and then shows the work in a gallery. There is no mistake that the work is separate from the creator, because they are two completely different objects. a Musician, even though he performs his piece in front of others, may not be as emotionally involved or vulnerable in front of the audience. Not so with theatre, specifically acting. The actor is his own painting, his own form of music. So, the rejection of the actor from the audience, becomes very close to personal rejection, because the lines of separation between art and life are very thin.

This is one of the reasons why many actors are incredibly confused, depressed, or impulsive, especially young actors. Many of the people I am surrounded by in the college setting are so self concious, so driven by anxiety and fear, that they cannot even fathom that their purpose is to give the gift of art. Instead, they walk on the stage defeated, as if they were about to be attacked by the director or audience. 

This is where the MB typology enters the picture. I found this theory a couple of years ago, and found it to be a miraculous tool to see ourselves through a looking glass, if we even dare to see ourselves truthfully. It pulls out the strengths and weaknesses of individual’s personalities to predict how they may act in situations or even help with the communication of ideas. 

I will explore these ideas in further detail later, but this is one of the fundamental blocks to the way i approach directing. I see each person as an individual, who needs a special language spoken or shown to them in order to understand their character, lines, blocking, etc. Since this is a new idea, and i am a new director, it has been difficult to keep these ideas and tendencies in mind, but not impossible. And this theory is not perfect by any means, I have much to work out in the coming years. but that’s ok, because I’m spending the next three years researching and trying out ideas for acting.